Monday Morning Recap

So, I think it just has to be said because... Well, it does... Don Cherry is an idiot. Don't get me wrong, I hate Pierre McGuire more then Cherry, but seriously, for someone who is an iconic figure in hockey (and prides himself on that), how the hell can he mis-pronouce so many names wrong?! Honestly, if he intentionally does it, then its f*cking retarded and he needs a wheelchair for being so handicapped. On his Rock'em Sock'em 20 DVD, he pronouces Saku Koivu's name as KOI-VOI. Seriously, thats not even close to what it sounds like! If it's possible, I think his mouth is louder then his suits... What a retard...

Here are my NHL thoughts of the week...

1 a – Daily Oiler Bashing – Finally, someone has taken hold of the #1 spot in Edmonton... Roli. And you know what, it should be his job for the rest of the year. End of story.

1 b – The Oil have won 3 in a row, Sporer got engaged, Sam Gagner actually scored... what is this, Hell freezing over?

1 c – Jeff Carter is 1st in goals, 3rd in shots... Ovi is 2nd in goals, 1st in shots... Vanek is 3rd is goals, 8th in shots... Parise is 5th in goals, 6th in shots... So, what does this all have to do with Ales Hemsky? LOOK AT THE NUMBERS! If you want him to score more goals, take more damn shots! He's 86th in goals and 46th in shots, no wonder he hasn't scored more then 20 in his career...

1 d – The West has 6 points separating 8th (Edmonton) and 15th ( St. Louis). All it takes is a 5-game streak to make the playoffs, or a 5-game skid to fall to the basement.

1 e – Remember when the Oilers were 'screwed over' with Michael Nylander? Yea, 5.5 million bucks for a combined 14 goals the past two seasons. He's an even bigger bust then Penner!

2 a – You know, I know we all know that Marian Hossa is the best UFA signing this off-season, but who was the worst? You wanna know? RYAN MALONE IN TAMPA!!! I thought Edmonton's deal with Penner was bad, but we only have him for another 4 years... Tampa has this bum locked up at 4.250 million for the next SIX YEARS! Disgusting.

2 b – You know who else has some messed up salary cap troubles? Montreal. Their four top players (Lang, Kovalev, Koivu, Tanguay) are all UFAs this season, not to mention 4 of their top six Dmen (Bouillon, Dandenault, Komisarek, Brisebois) are also UFAs. Throw in the fact the ROMAN F*CKING HAMRLIK is locked up for 5.5 MILLION for the next THREE years, and wow, you have a team that is just horrible at organization within the cap.

3 a – I pointed out that the Americans would be a tough team in 2010, but so will the Russians. They have (arguably) the two best players in the entire league in Malkin and Ovechkin, then throw in some guys named Datsyuk, Kovalchuk and Semin, mix in some Markov, Volchenkov and Gonchar, top it all off with Nabokov in goal and you have a pretty damn good recipe to score alot of goals and not allow many...

3 b - Remember last season, when Crosby was injured and Gino Malkin carried his team into the playoffs, on his back? Well, he only finished with 106 points that year. This season, he is on pace for 34G 100A 134P.

3 c – I think the Czechs will be in trouble in 2010. First, no Jagr. Second, look at the ages of some of their key players: Sykora (32), Lang (38), Elias (32). Third, they only have Vokoun, Pavelec and Schwartz playing on NHL teams in goal, which is definitely no Domink Hasek.

4 a – We all were in shock when San Jose (27-4-4) jumped out to the early NHL lead, but how about Boston (27-5-4)?! They have caught up to San Jose and are on pace for an astounding 132 points!

4 b – I think I might need to re-consider Marc Savard for 2010...

5 a – I gotta say, I think Chicago has the pieces to give Detroit a run for their money for the next 5-10 years. Sharp (26), Kane (19), Toews (20), Ladd (22), Bolland (22), Eager (24), Versteeg (22), Campbell (29), Seabrook (23), Barker (22), Keith (24) and Aaron Johnson (25) are all guys I wouldn't mind having on my team; however, one has to wonder how Chicago is going to fit all of that talent under a cap. I guess if Detroit can do it, Chicago can too.


5 b – I think Campbell got over-paid at 7.140 mil a year for the next 8 years, but if that's what a team has to do, then that's what they have to do. Hint hint Tambellini...

Here are my non-NHL thoughts of the week...

1 a – Well, we all know where I'm going to start here. Indianapolis is playing January football, New England is not. The Colts have won NINE straight games and Peyton Manning should win his 3rd MVP award this season.

1 b – If Bill Belichick is such a genious and such a great guru, then why did not one, but TWO of his former assistents get fired yesterday (Mangini & Crennel)? Yea, shows how much of his talent 'rubbed off' on them...

1 c – Remember when we had that huge argument over, Who was the best QB of all time? Well, If you go by the # of TDs, its Brett Favre; however, if the worst QB is judged by the # of INT, then Favre would also be the worst QB in history. So, what about using the Passer Rating to find out who is the best? Here is the top ten...

10. Drew Brees – 87.94
9. Marc Bulger – 88.08
8. Chad Pennington – 88.89
7. Daunte Culpepper – 89.95
6. Carson Palmer – 90.12
5. Joe Montana – 92.26
4. Tom Brady – 92.93
3. Kurt Warner – 93.17
2. Peyton Manning – 94.72

And the #1 QB of all time...

1. Steve Young – 96.81

1 c – How crazy was yesterday in the NFL? 10 morning games, 6 with playoff implications. 5 afternoon games, 3 with playoff implications. 1 Sunday night game with a winner-take-all banner. Congratulations, NFL.

2 a – Well, I guess Notre Dame (6-6) should get SOME props for winning their bowl game by slaughtering Hawaii (7-6), 49-21. Ok, that's enough.

2 b – On the NCAA harcourt, Duke (10-1) is ranked #5 while Notre Dame (9-2) is ranked #7. I don't really know where I'm going with this, but it's just another thing that my teams are better then Drew's. Ha.

3 a – Well, Team Canada has shown that it can score goals (24 for, 1 against) and stop them. Yikes. Tavares has found chemistry with Esposito and DiDomineco, the line of Hodgson-Eberle-Boychuk has been electrifying, the checkers have emerged with Cormier and Della Rovere and you have Ennis playing ont he 4th line. Scary.

3 b – Someone told me that this defence wasn't very good and I think it was you, Sporer... Are you kidding me?

Thomas Hickey, #4 overall in '07 draft.
Alex Pietrangelo, #4 overall in '08 draft.
Colten Teubert, #13 overall in the '08 draft.
Cody Goloubef, #37 overall in the '08 draft.
Keith Aulie is 6'6 and 215 lbs.
Tyler Myers, 6'7 and 213.
Ryan Ellis, 15 goals and 48 points in 30 games in the OHL.
PK Subban, 33 assists in 29 games in Belleville.

It's not one of the worst, it's one of the best.

4 a – I think Tennessee and Pittsburgh should be wary of the #6 seed, Baltimore. Noone plays a better road-game then the Ravens.


4 b – Except maybe the Colts.

5 a – Drew, I know you watched UFC 92. How ridiculous was that?! I picked Silva, Nogueira and Griffin and they ALL LOST!!! Wow, could the UFC produced a better PPV for the viewers? I'm still in shock that Evans KO'd Griffin, I honestly thought he had an iron chin.

5 b – Sporer, I can run circles around in baseball, basketball, NFL, CFL, soccer and anything NCAA, so just because I don't follow NASCAR doesn't make me an idiot.

5 c – I don't follow NASCAR, you don't follow NASCAR, BUT I STILL KNOW MORE ABOUT NASCAR THEN YOU DO! Bluff.

Cheers.
-Smith

Christmas Gifts for all.

So as tomorrow is Christmas, I thought id do a little something to go with the season. Here is what every team is hoping Santa brings them tonight.

Anaheim Ducks: The Old Scott Neidermayer

Atlanta Thrashers: Heal Zach Bogasian's broken leg, and the a super package for Ilya Kovalchuk

Boston Bruins: Bubble wrapping for Patrice Bergeron

Buffalo Sabres: The Old Maxim Afinaganov

Calgary Flames: A new girlfriend for Dion, as his current one is as Jeff Geisler puts it "sloppy thirds"

Carolina Hurricanes: The 2005-2006 Rod Brind'Amour

Chicago Blackhawks: A division without the Red Wings (if it wasn't for the ever-dominant Wings, Chicago would be first in their division)

Colorado Avalanche: A real goalie

Columbus Blue Jackets: PLAYOFFS!!!! PLEASSEEEEE!!!!!

Dallas Stars: Somewhere in the rule book that says they can send Sean Avery to Siberia

Detroit Red Wings: A pat on the back (really, they have everything)

Edmonton Oilers: The 2007-2008 Kid Line and Mathieu Garon

Florida Panthers: A great return for one of their amazing goalies.

L.A. Kings: A time machine to jump two years ahead to when they are dominating the West.

Minnesota Wild: A home for Marian Gaborik.

Montreal Canadiens: The consistency they had last year.

Nashville Predators: One rich and responsible owner

New Jersey: A Christmas miracle to heal Martin Brodeur

New York Islanders: Can they just have John Tavares right now?

New York Rangers: The ability to stay ahead of the Flyers

Ottawa Senators: The gonads to rebuild their team ASAP.

Philadelphia Flyers: A medal for Mike Richards, Jeff Carter, and Simon Gagne

Phoenix Coyotes: The playoffs to start now so they can make it.

Pittsburgh Penguins: Ryan Whitney and Sergei Gonchar back

San Jose Sharks: 23 2009 calendars to hand out come playoff time, so they can pretend its October.

St Louis Blues: To have an even worse second half of the season, so they can win John Tavares

Tampa Bay Lightning: A whole new head office (new coaches and management).

Toronto Maple Leafs: Someone to tell them they are gonna finish last before every season.

Vancouver Canucks: New team jerseys: Yellow with 3 blue crowns in the middle.....

Washington Capitals: To have both Alex's going at the same time.

Monday Morning Recap

Congratulations to Sporer!!! What a stud. He and his (now) fiance Robyn are one-step closer to a happy life together! I couldn't be more happy and proud for my best buddy; Robyn doesn't even know the half of what kind of a great guy she is getting! He's definitely 1 in 6.7 billion. With all that being said, I'm glad Robyn and Sporer both said yes, glad they both were smiling and glad that they actually want all of this to happen... because... here's what it looks like when those things don't go as planned... pay close attention to the commentators, ooooh snap.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtPkxzHKLpk

And here is something I think should be allowed. Because it's hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P02ZjM1fw0

Here are my NHL thoughts for the week...

1 a – Daily Oiler Bashing – This team is just so hard to predict and it's just so frustrating. What I hear are a lot of idea, solutions and opinions about this team, but what I'm seeing is nothing being done. Sporer has an undying love for the team, while I have more of a tough-love relationship with the team and, to me, it's just completely frustrating to watch this team struggle and have no changes being made.

1 b – The Oilers play five more games in December, four of which are against .500 or better teams and the sub-.500 team is Ottawa (and we all know how explosive they can be). The Oil really need to go 4-1 in these final five games and set the right tone for the new year.

1 c – Off topic, but still about the Oil, I'm personally sick of building a team through the draft. I understand you need 2 or 3 younger players (Gagner, Schremp, Cogliano), but not 6 or 7 (Pisani, Brodziak, Nilsson, Pouliot, Smid). With a new owner and a new source of money, I think it's time to invest in building the team through experienced UFA talent. We can all remember what happened when we signed veterans Pronger and Peca.

1 d - Usually, players don't like to cold weather of Edmonton; however, if that is the case, then we have no choice but to over-pay for players. Sure it sucks, but hypothetically, if Ovi signed for $9.5 million average in Washington, then I would have no problem paying him upwards of 15-16 million a year if we could sign him.

2 – St. Louis sits in the 15^th spot in the Western conference, but is only 6 points out of a playoff spot and is 6^th in the conference in goals for. The NYI are in the 15^th spot in the Eastern conference and are 14 points out of a playoff spot and are 12^th in goals for (last in goals against). Such parody between the conferences...

3 a – I need to give some overdue props immediately to Evgeni Malkin. With all the media and NHL focused on Sidney Crosby (his team-mate), am I too naive to call this guy under-rated? He leads the entire NHL in points with 55, 9 more then Crosby and 12 more the Ovechkin; not to mention he is +19.

3 b – The NHL has some new names in the top 15 in scoring: Parise, Carter, Kane and Kessel. Notice any similarities? Three of those four are American. I've said it before and I'll say it again, watch out for the USA in 2010. Dangerous.

3 c – Anyone hear the rumors involving a mega-deal? Kovalchuk and Armstrong to Minnesota for Gaborik and Kim Johnsson, this is all assuming Atlanta could sign Gaborik to a long-term deal. Crazy.

4 – Pierre McGuire is an idiot. There is no commentator I hate more the McGuire (even Bob Cole is a distant 2^nd). I hope one of his 'monster performers' eats him alive. What a bluff. He's just so... so... pro his favorite players and 'screw everyone else'. He's only ever played hockey in Europe (big whoop), he's only won cups as a scout or assistant coach and lead Hartford to a 23-37-7 record in his ONLY head coaching job. And what-the-shit is a double Dion? One Dion with his dick in his ear and the other in your bum? What a fag.

4 b – An Oiler game just isn't an Oiler game without Rod Phillips. All class. No doubts, one of my favorite hockey broadcasters of my generation and lifetime.

5 – You may be able to argue that Canada has had better overall teams, but there is no way in hell you could argue that Canada's 2005 World Junior team wasn't the most dominant. That roster is just ridiculous and shredded the opposition with such ease. Every single player was drafted and just listen to names of players who they CUT: Eric Fehr (1^st round draftee), Dustin Boyd (3^rd round), Mike Green (1^st round draftee), Devan Dubnyk (1^st round draftee). They won games: 7-3, 8-1, 9-0, 8-1, 3-1, 6-1. Crazy.

5 b – I don't know squat about this year's World Junior team. I could name you: Tavares, Hodgson, Eberle, Pietrangelo, Hickey. I usually know this team inside and out, but for some reason, I don't think TSN covered the team as much as they usually do. Either way, I'll know the team inside & out by the end of the week.

5 c – By the way, that 2005 team had: 13 1^st rounders, 2 2^nd rounders, 4 3^rd rounders, a 5^th, 6^th and 7^th rounder. Ridiculous.

Here are my non-NHL thoughts for the week...

1 a – ALL HAIL KING PEYTON!!!!! 11-4. 8 straight wins. 5^th seed in the AFC. Manning was 29/34, 364 yards, 3 TD, 0 INT and a 140.7 rating in his latest victory over the Jags. Can you hear the echoing chants of 'MVP! MVP! MVP!'.

1 b – God is a Dolphins fan. Pray that they beat the NYJ on the road. A playoffs without the Patriots would be the best Christmas gift Santa could give an NFL fan.

1 c – Is Andrew Johnson having the quietest 100 catch, 1000 yard receiving year in NFL history? Hes 2^nd in receptions (105) and 1^st in yards (1427) and 2^nd in yards per game (95.1) all on a team that is 7-8.

2 – #5 Duke (10-1, was #6) trounced #14 Xavier (9-1, was #7) 82-64, IN Cincinnati! Mark down February 11^th on your calender, North Carolina (11-0) comes to Cameron Indoor Stadium for a date with the Blue Devils. Then, mark down March 8^th, it's the final game for either team this season and could be a March Madness Championship #1 vs. #2 preview.

3 a – I officially declare Plaxico Burress the absolutely dumbest f*cking idiot on the face of this planet. We all have it fresh in our mind about his recent suicide attempt, but how about crashing his $140,000 Mercedes-Benz... wait for it... wait for it... WITHOUT INSURANCE!!! Now he is being sued, Allstate has said he failed to pay the premiums... and now he's f*cked. I hate this guy more then OJ, Michael Jackson, Al Davis, Kimbo Slice, Marion Jones, Roger Clemens, Tom Brady and Dustin Penner altogether!!!

3 b – Also in the column of 'Stupid Idiots': William Clay Ford Sr., the owner of the 0-15 Detroit Lions. I'm just going to copy and paste from Sports Illustrated because I really don't think I can say it anymore sarcastically... 'You've got to be kidding. William Clay Ford Sr., with the garbage product he disguises as a football team, actually said he wanted his two-headed front-office team to RETURN next year? It's beyond belief, isn't it? On a day when the Lions players showed how truly awful they had become, the owner one-upped them in ineptitude. It was like the owner of the Titanic, as the ship was sinking, announcing, "Next I'm gonna build an airplane."

4 – Honestly, I wish the Steinbrenners owned the Oilers. They have already spent 243.5 million on Sabathia and Burnett, but are now the front-runners for Manny Ramirez (3 years – 75 million ish) and Mark Teixeria (10 years – 200 million ish). That's 518.5 million that they could spend this off-season! Are you kidding me?! Mind-blowing.

5 – In the 'My Friends are Awesome' category, it's been quite a wild week for me! I got to see one of my best buds in Fort Mac for a week, come home and find out Ash planned the entire Christmas party herself, not to mention Sporer and Robyn's big news! I love all you guys so much. Caa Caa!

5 b – I really don't think there can be a 'bad kind' of gravy. Sure our mom's can make different kinds with unique tastes and unique recipes, but when it all boils down to it, gravy tastes so good no matter who is making it!

5 c – If you read SI.com (which I know none of you do, maybe Drew), then you would know that they have finished up their own 'Clicksy Awards' for the year. Here is a collage of their winners... Damn, Andy Roddick is one lucky SOB...

Cheers.
-Smith

p.s #1 - From the top-left clockwise Brooklyn Decker (Andy Roddick's fiance), Heidi Klum (we all envy Seal), Stacey Keibler (the WWE misses you), Ingrid Vandebosch (Jeff Gordon's wife)

p.s. #2 - I thought this was hilarious...

THE POTATO SACK #1

So the Sundin Sweepstakes are over hey? This swift, Swedish, scoring machine has made the apparently impeccably difficult decision to rejoin the NHL through the outlet of the Vancouver Canucks franchise. But guess what?! I DON'T CARE!

This 37-year-old grown man has wasted the last 2 and a half months of my NHL-watching entertainment, pimping himself out like a 19-year-old hooker on the corner of a graffiti covered brick building. Here's my reaction: "Get out of the way hooker so I can read the graffiti". The attention of the world has been deflected from a rather exciting start to the season because we have to watch what's new in the Sundin Soap Opera. Except, it's not even entertaining. Highlights on SportsCentre are delayed, Nick Kypreos is talking about it instead of the surprising Northwest Division on Hockey Central, and I have to hear more comments from an even bigger airhead...Brian Burke, all because of this ridiculous free agency.

Mats, you're good, maybe even great, and there's no doubt the Canuckleheads are a better team because of signing you. But the most prominent thing you've done in the last few months is not to make an extremely difficult decision or to sign for 5 million bucks to play hockey for a few months, it is to take the spotlight off of our great sport and focus it on yourself. So do us all a favor and hop in the potato sack with a couple of your new Swedish buddies and some Swedish meatballs so I can beat you against your brick wall.

The Oilers Big Issue

The Sundin sweepstakes are over, if they were even sweepstakes at that. With Vancouver tabling a deal of $20 million over two years, it wasn’t very hard for Mats to decide where he was going to play. With Sundin now playing in the Northwest, one must question the fallout within the division. Minnesota will lose Marian Gaborik before the trade deadline, and may get something decent in return or more building blocks for their future. Calgary seems to be pleased with their team as it is, I don’t live in Cow Town so I wouldn’t know the going’s on. Colorado confuses me, because rumors have it that Peter Forsberg wants to return come playoff time, but the problem is, will the Avalanche even make the post season? Stastny is playing well, and that’s about it. Tucker has been a bust, Smyth’s age is showing, Wolski isn’t performing as well as he should be, and Sakic is still on the mend.
This brings me to the Oilers. Edmonton has dropped their last two games, both after one of their best and most complete games of the year. Erik Cole still only has 3 goals on the year, a far cry for a guy who was looked to pot at least 20. Sam Gagner continues to struggle through the sophomore slump, so does Robert Nilsson. Andrew Cogliano is playing well, maybe not assss good as last season, but still decent. Ethan Moreau was a nice surprise in the beginning, but has cooled off quickly. Dustin Penner’s benching seemed to put some fire under his butt, and he has picked up his play, now with 9 goals. Shawn Horcoff is also playing much better with 22 points now. Ales Hemsky and Sheldon Souray continue to be the leaders. With Sundin now entering the picture and an already tough division getting tougher, one must wonder, what will the Oilers do to fix the problems they already have, and bolster their lineup even further?
Erik Cole, with his contract up at season’s end, seems to be the most likely to be traded. Mathieu Garon and Dwayne Roloson are playing for their jobs right now as both of their contracts are up this summer. Look for one of those two to be traded, maybe both if the Oilers drop that far. The Kid Line trio could potentially be broken up, Andrew Cogliano and Sam Gagner are probably the less likely to be traded, so that leaves Robert Nilsson. Steve Staios’ job can easily be filled by Laddy Smid at this point, and Jason Strudwick will be a UFA this summer. Rob Schremp is an RFA this summer, which considering the recent dramas in his case, looks like he will not be here next year. Marc Pouliot seems to have finally found some better play, and Zach Stortini has been looking a little bit more like he did last year as of late. Kyle Brodziak’s future could be questioned, as his play so far this season has not been up to par. As much as Ethan Moreau Is captain of this team, it is never out of the question that he too could be dealt.
Considering the youth in the Oilers lineup, I would continue to be adamant in staying patient, however, considering the pre season predictions, and the bolstering of other teams in their division. It seems time the Oilers started pulling some plugs and fixing some glaring issues. The first issue that needs to be fixed before all others is the goaltending situation that has arisen. I don’t care if they keep one or the other, or even neither, the Oilers have to get down to 2 goalies, and now. Dealing for Craig Anderson could be an option as he a UFA this summer, and they could always resign him. I would say at this point that they need to deal for a goalie, and send one of their two goalies down through waivers. Neither of them has been playing overly amazing. The second glaring issue is secondary scoring. The Kid line is slumping, and the only ones who are scoring are the first line and Sheldon Souray. Even at that, acquiring a top notch goal scorer would be the ultimate for the Oilers; however it seems the best route for that to happen would be over the summer through a UFA signing (i.e. Marian Gaborik, Marian Hossa, etc.). The third and maybe not so important or glaring issue is team toughness. Steve Macintyre has been hurt I know, and when he is in the lineup the Oilers are much better, but without him the Oilers as a team, aren’t that overly tough.
With the Oilers only 2 points out of a playoff spot, a few wins could make them look a lot better. Yet even still, the play of some of the players is disturbing, and there are still issues that need to be fixed if they are to get to the post season dance and be successful. There is a lot of optimism here because I’m an Oilers fan and it’s hard to get real down on a team you love. As a hardcore true Oilers fan it hurts to know that there are these issues, and hard to admit the problems plaguing my team. As a sports fan, and a smart one at that, I do need to realize these problems and know that the team needs to deal with them. They are a frustrating team to watch right now, more frustrating then ever before. This is because this team has such great potential and skill. Who knows, maybe there is another late season drive like last year still to come, but for now, changes are in order.
-Sporer(im on my parents computer, pictures are still to come)

Ales Hemsky Positives!... kinda.

So, we all know that Ales Hemsky has all of this untapped talent, but hasn't exactly kept the Oiler faithful, well, faithful to him and I'll be the first to admit that I may be the president of that club; however, I thought I would take the time, put aside my personal feelings and write about Ales in a positive way. Sporer, of all people, knows how tough this is going to be for me (let's see him write about how good the Stars are, ha), but I think I do a pretty darn good job at playing the 'devils advocate' role in our lives, so this shouldn't be much different. I thought I would start off by listing all of the reasons (wow, I came up with way more then I thought I could) I think Ales is only an 'average' player and give a quick blurb as to why I think that, then proceed to attempt to disprove my own theories and opinions with stats and game-examples. Any objections? No? Great, let's get started then...

DISCLAIMER: This may hurt the feelings of Ales Hemsky's fans in the beginning, but don't worry, it gets better, I semi-promise ish.

He doesn't shoot the puck enough – Possibly the most irritating trait out of all the irritating traits I think this guy has. F*ck, seriously. Whether it's even-strength or the powerplay (don't even get me started on the powerplay, thank God for Sheldon Souray), I think the guy has a serious phobia of scoring goals. He's never hit more then 20 goals, he averages only 1.8 shots per game and frankly, unless your name is Adam Oates or Joe Thornton, you can't get away with only passing the puck.

Hemsky has improved on his shots this season and is on pace to surpass his career high by more then 60 shots. The more he shoots, the more he is going to score and he is on pace to surpass his career high in goals, with 27.

His point totals are low – Plain and simple, he's never been a point-per-game player in the NHL. Look at him, 77 points as a career high? I suppose that's on the high-end of mediocrity, but heck, even Doug Weight put up 100+ points playing on a worse team then this one, and Hemsky has never blown me away with his stats.

Hemsky has a career average of about 64 points per season and scores points in about 78% of the games hes played in. That's all I got.

He's never won anything – No Stanley Cups. No Harts. No Art Ross'. No World Jrs. No World Cups. No Olympic golds. No Memorial Cups. NOTHING!!!

He won a World Championship in 2005 with the Czech Republic, but only managed 2 points in 7 games.

He hasn't lived up to his hype – Again, Hemsky is supposed to be a game-changing game-breaking type of player, but has he really? If the Oilers traded Hemsky away, would they really miss him? I certainly don't think he would be missed, especially if Tambellini could bring in a better-then-average haul in return. How can a guy, who was drafted 13^th overall and who has played on the 1^st line (pretty much) his entire career not break 80 points?

To be honest, Hemsky has never played with any players that are at his skill level. He's only played 5 NHL seasons, is only 25 years old and, to be fair to Hemsky, the 2001 draft doesn't seem to have been a particularly good one when it comes to skill (#3 Alexandre Svitov, #5 Stanislav Chistov, #10 Dan Blackburn, #12 Fredrik Sjostrom).

He fails to make the players around him better – How many players have spent time on the Oilers 1^st line in the past three years? Tonnes! And why do they cycle players? Because they aren't performing at a 1^st line level. And who is the constant on the 1^st line? Hemsky. How can they cycle through so many players playing with Hemsky and all have them under-achieve? Because Hemsky isn't helping them.

I understand bringing a good player and improving him to a great one, but Hemsky has really only worked with mediocre players to begin with who aren't meant to be great 1^st line guys (Horcoff, Lupul, Dvorak, York). Although, Horcoff has his best numbers while playing with Hemsky on a consistent basis.

He's not elite / Not a franchise player – To be named a 'franchise player' is a pretty big deal, it means you would (in theory) start from scratch and select your 'franchise player' before anyone else and build your team around him. Crosby, Lecavalier, Iginla, Ovechkin, Datsyuk, those are true franchise players because they bring more to the team other then scoring (defensive responsibility, a physical game, extreme leadership,etc.) Hemsky just isn't even close to any of those type of players.

No response.

He's soft – When was the last time you saw Hemsky battle in the corner? When have you ever seen him throw a good open-ice hit? When, if ever, has he laid out his body for a blocked shot? When has he ever gotten into a good scrap or a bad one or in scrap at all? Even The Great One has a fight under his belt! True competitors are willing to do whatever it takes to win, but I fail to see his willingness to put his body on the line in order to accomplish that.

Well, with all the lack of talent that the Oil have had, the opposing teams have focused their attention at 'roughing up' Hemsky as much as they can. And you know what, I'll give him credit for taking all that abuse and almost-always popping right back up for the next shift.

He's injury-prone – Never has he played a full 82 games. Never. In fact, he averages to miss about 12 games per season over his 5-year career; he's been hurt in 4 out of those 5 seasons. I mean, it's great if Hemsky can become that point-per-game player, but its no good if he's only playing 60 games a year.

To be positive, it's not as if Hemsky keeps recurring the same injury over and over again; he's had injuries to his abdomen, right shoulder and his knees. I don't know how you pull your stomach muscle, but surely it wasn't his fault; same could be said for his knees (that was a diiirty hit).

He holds onto the puck too long / He's indecisive – How many times have we seen him try to gain the opponent's blue-line by carrying the puck and trying to dangle through three or four guys (aka. The trap), then turn the puck over. Or how about when he is on the powerplay, walks out from the sideboards, then circles back and doesn't shoot or pass. A million times on both counts.

Hemsky is a creative player and is always looking to make a play every time he touches the puck. We've all heard the expression 'high risk = high reward' and Hemsky lives & dies by it. Despite Ales' puck troubles, when he does do something special with it, he usually embarrasses more then one person pretty badly.

He's one dimensional – If someone can tell me what else Hemsky brings to the team, other then scoring, I would love to know. I understand that players who can score are a necessity for a hockey team, but like I said already, he can barely do that right. If he isn't going to score 40 goals and 100 points every year, he should learn some new skills to help benefit the team.

Again, no comment.

So, I couldn't come up with positive stats/reasons to disprove some of my opinions, but I honestly tried hard (I looked at nhl.com, Wikipedia, Hockey DB and TSN). Anyone think they can provide stats for the opinions I missed, give it a whirl.

Cheers.

-Smith

Initial Sundin Thoughts and more

Alright, here goes alooooooooot of text for you guys to read...

Well, hockey's worst kept secret (and possibly worst case Oiler scenario) was revealed earlier today as Mats Sundin decided on the Canucks over the Rangers; and who says money doesn't run the world? The NYR could only offer $5million tops, while having to dump some players in order to accommodate that number; mean time in Vancouver, the Canucks have tabled a 2-year $20million deal since the very beginning and never took it back. That's the basic breakdown in leymonds terms, so let's tale a look at some other issues: Was money the only factor? How does this improve Vancouver? And what does this mean for the Oilers?

Money – Money always helps, but I don't think it was the determining factor here. The offer was tabled back before the season began, so Sundin could have taken it then, but he didn't. He wanted to weigh his options and get the best deal possible for him, while considering his health and team performance I'm sure. Sundin obviously gave the NYR every opportunity to make their salary cap and roster fit into Sundin's liking, but just couldn't pull it off in the end. Also, the rumors going around is that the other teams that were in the hunt (Montreal, Ottawa, Phili etc.) had offers on the table NO LESS then $7.5 million per year. In contrast, Vancouver is going to lose zero roster players from this signing and what do the Sedins, Ohlund, Edler and Sundin all have in common? Swedish roots. It should also be noted that the deal is only for ONE year and not the original two-year deal that Vancouver offered at the beginning of the year and its $10 million PRO RATED deal, which means (minus the games hes missed) it works out to about $5.6 million-ish.

The 'Nucks – Wow. They have a top-six of Sundin, D. Sedin, H. Sedin, Demitra, Wellwood and Kesler not to mention Pyatt, Burrows, Bernier and young star Mason Raymond. That's a pretty deep line-up for a team that is already tied for the division lead. Personally, how could this not make them the favorites for the Northwest title? The Canucks have always found trouble trying to find a true center to play with the Sedins and Sundin seems like a perfect fit; although, its reported Sundin will play with Wellwood and Raymond on the 2^nd line. Vancouver is already 9^th in the league in goals-per-game with 3.03 and have a total of 97. If Sundin had been with them all year long and had, let's say 10 goals, they would have been 2^nd only to San Jose's 110. Earlier on TSN, Darren Dreger stated that 'for a team to be a legitimate Stanley Cup contender they need: a #1 goalie, a Norris-trophy-type candidate dman, and a pure scorer. Well, we all know about Luongo, the 'nucks don't have a true Norris candidate, but they do have a solid core (Ohlund, Salo, Edler, Bieksa, Mitchell) and of course, now Sundin. It seems like Vancouver has quickly gone from under-the-radar to the immediate fore-front.

On a side note, there is also speculation that Vancouver has enough cap room (once the Sundin deal is complete) to add ANOTHER top-six forward before the trade deadline. Oh my.

On a down note for the club, they will have several top UFAs this off-season including: the Sedins, Mats & Ohlund with Luongo, Demitra & Kesler as UFAs the following season. This all leads me to believe that Vancouver only has a one or two year window to make a cup run.

Oilers – Yikes. It just seems like every team in the Northwest has been gearing up and bolstering their rosters, except the Oilers. Kipper, Iginla & Phaneuf all re-signed in Calgary, Sakic was brought back to play with Stastney and Wolski in Colorado, Minnesota has locked up young talent Mikko Koivu, Pierre-Marc Bouchard, Brent Burns for the next three years and will surely re-up for Backstrom in goal, Vancouver has brought in Luongo, Demitra and now Sundin for a Stanley Cup run, but what has Edmonton done? We brought in Pronger, Peca and Spacek for our playoff run, but none are with the team now. Penner, Cole and Garon have all been disappointing signings and, frankly, just not the same talent-level as the other big names in the Northwest.

Honestly, I'm just finding it tough to be optimistic in Oil Country. We watch our arch-rivals lock-up franchise players Iginla and Kipper long-term while we trade ours away. Now, I know Smyth isn't in the same talent level as those two, but where is our stability? Ovechkin, 13 years. Lundqvist, 6 years. Heatley, 6 years. Spezza, 7 years. Lecavalier, 12 years. Malkin, 5 years. Gomez, 6 years. Kopitar, 8 years. Stastney, 6 years. Staal, 8 years. Horcoff is our big prize 'till 2015 at around $5million per-year average. Shawn is a good 2-way player, but clearly not in the class of the elite locked-up, so then ill ask... Why isn't our franchise/long-term player at that level? Obviously, that's a discussion for another day. But where is the light at the end of the tunnel? Where is our savior? Where is our big signing or trade? Gaborik, Gionta, Havlat, Antropov, Bouwmeester, a pair of Wings (Hossa, Zetterberg) and a quartet of Habs (Lang, Kovalev, Koivu, Tanguay) are all UFA's come July 1^st and I'd like to see at least one, if not two, of those names in copper and blue for 09/10.

Cheers.
-Smith

Oiler Thoughts

Ok, I didn't watch the entire Canucks game, actually I didn't even make it past the first period, so I have no idea how the game played out or if the Oilers actually did play well or not; however, I did catch the highlights and they showed two key plays that stood out to me as bonehead...

1 - Steve Staios pushes D. Sedin into Roli, the puck trickles into the night, 1-0 Canucks. Are you stupid? How many times have we seen this? A dman, attempting to do his job, but does it horribly and costs his team on the scoreboard. Such a silly play... Why would you push the forward into your own netminder? The forward isn't going to get the interference call, but the dman might get a roughing call! Just watching the highlight made me sick to my stomach as to what is wrong with the Oilers, a total lack in judgment. Bonehead.

2 - Sam Gagner gets just ridiculously demolished by Bieksa, Moreau comes in and picks up a 2-minute penalty. Again, lack in judgment. You're down 3-0 and giving Vancouver a PP isn't the best idea now is it? But what I thought was hilarious about this play is that, I understand Moreau is just doing his captain duties and sticking up for a teammates, but for goodness-sake don't fall flat on your ass and look like you need a wheelchair! What a goober. Seriously. Someone teach this guy how to stand up on skates! It's also not the first time Moreau has looked like an idiot during a fight (anyone remember what happened to him in Detroit)! So, to sum up that entire sequence... Gagner gets laid out, Moreau looks likes a clown and Vancouver picks up the man-advantage. Again, lack in judgment. Bonehead.

I don't mean to add onto the Oiler bashing that usually is reserved for my Monday Morning Recap, but I just thought I would point out two glaring mistakes by verteran players, who have possibly worn out their welcome.

On another side note, why did Garon start against Chicago? He didn't deserve it. Now, hindsight is 20-20, but surely Roli would have done better then a 9-2 shalacking. And, I'm not sure I buy the whole 'there's nothing he could have done on three of those goals' argument. Tips, deflections & screens are all part of the game and have been Garon's entire hockey career, and guess what, they happen even more often in the NHL then junior; maybe it's his lack of relexes, or his confidence or his in-ability to make that key save, whatever it is, Garon just isn't playing at an NHL level.

I've heard that MacT wanted to 'save Roli' for the Vancouver game, but why? He's been playing hockey his entire life, do you honestly think playing back-to-back games is really going to hinder his performance? I sure don't. If it does, then I'd say he's in the wrong business. Look at the elite goalies in the league: Brodeur, Nabokov, Lundqvist, Kipper, Luongo, heck even Backstrom, do you think they would only play one game? Of course not. That's why they are elite. If Roli can't even play (let alone win) back-to-back games, then what does that say about him? I'll let you make your own judgment.

And to top it all off, after all the other negative things we could touch on: the loses, the inconsistency, ALL bonehead plays... They sit only 2 points out of a playoff spot. Oh, us Oiler fans just gotta love the wild wild west.

Cheers.

-Smith

Monday Morning Recap

So, I think it's safe to say that three comedians have shaped all of our lives: Dane Cook, Russel Peters and Justin Timberlake impersonating Ashton Kutcher. I can't help but show the video of him mocking the tv show Punk'd, its just so damn priceless: 'I'll do anything... I'll touch your wiener', 'we switched out your birth-control pills!' and 'oh man, IT'S A DOUBLE PUNK!'. I hadn't seen the clip in at least a year, but wow, I had tears in my eyes watching it over and over again. It's a classic...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FcXsfnfh6M&feature=PlayLi
st&p=9F42BAA641BFE18B&playnext=1&index=9

On to my NHL thoughts for the week..

1 a – Daily Oiler Bashing – Well, it's the same old Oilers: impressive win on the road against San Jose, embarrassing lose at home to Florida, impressive win against division rival Vancouver. When will the real Oilers show their face, or is this what the real Oilers are?

1 b – I think the Oilers moved one step closer to a #1 goalie. Roli stood on his head in SJ, Garon took the lose to Florida, then Roli picks up another win against the Canucks. As much as we all want Roli to be traded for some immediate help, is Garon (at this time) really the man we want between the pipes to make a deep playoff run? I don't think so...

1 c – Sporer, Hemsky is a good player, but not great and definitely not a 'superstar'. Not yet anyways. Even if he hits 85+ points this year, one season does not define someone as a superstar (Cheechoo as proof). I have no problem in saying Hemsky has all the tools to make a great player, but he needs to put them to good use on a consistent basis in order to be recognized as one.

1 d – The rest of December features the Oilers playing only one team under .500, the Sens (still an explosive team). The majority of their games are at home, but they need to start beating teams ahead of them in the standings on a consistent basis if they wish to be considered a contender rather then a pretender.

2 – Let's get it out of the way, Avery will not be back with Dallas. With Dallas being my team, I'm still unbiased as to the decision. Either way, Dallas has more problems on the ice (Turco, common buddy) then just Avery.

2 b – Despite Hull being the driving force to sign Avery, it definitely should NOT cost him his job. Les Jackson still has to give his OK, and Hicks is the one signing the contracts and cheques and ultimately has the final say. Regardless, if every GM that made a bad signing and was fired for it, the NHL would be in desperate need of some GMs immediately.

3 a – The LA Kings are going to have a ridiculous defensive core in the very near future: Doughty leads all rookies in ice-time, Thomas Hickey is a virtual lock for the World Jr team and Jack Johnson (when healthy) is an absolute stud. Throw in Kyle Quincy (23 years old) and the Kings will be a force to be taken seriously for the next decade.

3 b – Also with with Kings, they are in the top 10 in both PP (10th) and PK (9th) categories. Who would'a thunk it...

4 – You wanna know a stat that separates the elite from everyone else? Detroit (5-5), Pittsburgh (7-7) and San Jose (3-3) are all .500 when TRAILING after 2 periods! Talk about determination. It's games like those that really test the team's skill and character. In comparison, the next closest team is the Colorado (4-8-1) at .308. Edmonton (1-10) is .091 at 24^th.

5 a – The NYI are actually the best in the NHL at something! And it's truly a positive stat! They lead the NHL with 525 blocked shots! It's too bad they lost Dipietro for such a long time, Weight and Guerin are having bounce back years and I really feel like they would be right in the middle of the playoff hunt had Rick been healthy.

5 b – I still think Dipietro's deal is a steal. 4.5 million bucks for a top 10 goalie, over 15 years?! The deal goes until he is 39, which is a deep age to be paying 4.5 million too; however, signing a goalie for that amount for his entire prime year is a steal. I agree he hasn't put up the numbers to set him into the elite goalie category, but he has plenty of time left to establish himself... And let's be honest, he plays on Long Island; if he were anywhere else, I think he might have a cup already.

Here are my non-NHL thoughts of the week...

1 a – Colts for life. They became the 1^st team in NFL history to have 5 consecutive years with a 7-game win streak, that ridiculous. In comparison, the Detroit Lions have only had 3 7-game winning streaks in the last 75 years!!! New England, NYJ and Miami all won again and all moved to 9-5; however, the NYJ hold all tie-breakers and Miami is next in line, which means, New England could miss the playoffs with a 10-win season. How does that sound Sporer? Sounds like music to my ears. Fuckpalface.

1 b – The Colts have only allowed 5 touchdowns through the air this season. That's a scary good defense to go with an already scary good offense. If they get the #5 seed, they will travel to Mile High and play the Broncos who are the only playoff team to allow more points then they score. Easy pickin's.

1 c – Staying with the NFL, Tennessee and the NYG have gone from the most dominant teams this season, to the most vulnerable. They have both gone 2-2 in their last 4 games and have been replaced as favorites by Pittsburgh and Carolina.

1 d – Again with the NFL, remember when we all thought that 3 out of the 4 teams from the NFC East (Washington, NYG, Dallas, Philadelphia) would make the playoffs? NYG are 11-3 and are a lock, but 9-5 Dallas, 7-5-1 Philadelphia and 7-7 Washington are all on the outside looking in. Oh, how the mighty have fallen...

2 a – Duke (8-1) is ranked #7 in the AP polls, while Notre Dame (7-2) can be found at #12. How does the humiliation feel, Drew?

2 b – Also in college sports, seriously, does the BCS committee hate everyone? Why don't they have a playoff format? The bowl championship series is just like my co-blogger Sporer... flaming. How can Notre Dame (6-6) get into a bowl game?! How can their honestly be 34 bowl games?! That's 68 out of 119 eligible teams qualifying for bowls. How ridiculous is that? They should really just give the BCS trophy to USC, it's like death and taxes... inevitable.

3 – The evil empire has struck again. The Yankees landed the two biggest starting pitching names of this year's free agent class: C.C. Sabathia and A.J. Burnett. The Yanks are also in the hunt for Ben Sheets. Could you imagine those three plus Chien-Ming Wang, Joba Chamberlain and Phil Hughes, like one writer stated, 'that would be a pretty powerful statement'. It also appears like they are track to add 1B Mark Teixeira to replace steroid monkey, Jason Giambi. Looks like another lost year for the Blue Jays and the rest of the AL.

4 a – I'm in Fort Mac, and I'm craving some tacos and what do I find out??? THE TACO TIME IS F*CKING CLOSED! I hope the mayor of this God-forsaken city finds a big turd in his septic tank the next time he flushes his toilet.

4 b – I had to settle for Kokanee and a Kit-Kat, not a bad substitute.

5 a – We have a new weekly blogger. Lets assume he can keep up with the awesomeness that is 'Smith & Sporer' with his 'Potato Sack' column or I just might have to 'Crotch Sack' him.

5 b - In honor of our new blogger, and his wanting of more hot girls in hot pictures, I created a montage of current athlete's girlfriends. Enjoy responsibly.

Cheers.
-Smith

p.s. clockwise from the top left is Adriana Lima (Marko Jaric), Kim Kardashian (Reggie Bush), Jessica Simpson (Tony Romo) and Gisele Bundchen (Tom Brady).