The NHL vs. Hollywood

We all love the NHL and we all love movies, so, why not have some fun and compare the NHL's elite to Hollywood's best. Here's what I came up with...

Mr. Blockbuster - Alex Ovechkin vs. Will Smith
#8 is the man that explodes. He electrifies the crowd like no other player and seems to a shoe-in for 50-goals every season for the rest of his career. The former Fresh Prince has churned out 12 $100-million movies (8 consecutive and counting) out of the 18 he's appeared in.

Mr. Nose Dive - Scott Niedermayer vs. Tom Cruise

Hes gone from a 70PT dman... down to 25... down to 14 and his goals have gone from 15 to 8 to 3. Maybe he should have stayed retired... For Cruise, it's not his movies that have gone down hill, it's his image. I'd pay 50 bucks just to crack this homo in the jaw.

Mr. Respect - Joe Sakic vs. Anthony Hopkins

I think this was a pretty obvious choice for Mr. Sakic, same for Mr. Hopkins. I mean Sir. Hopkins.

Mr. Superhero - Martin Brodeur vs. Christian Bale

Does anyone do more for his team then Brodeur? The guy is the closest thing to a real-live superhero. The Batman series has been a dynamite hit all thanks to Bale's unique and darker attitude and I think it's safe to say that he is the best Batman ever.

Mr. New Kid - Patrick Kane vs. Shia LeBeouf

Pat Kane lit up the league is his rookie campaign and took home the Calder trophy and has continued on the same superstardom pace as previous winners Heatley, Ovechkin & Malkin. Shia LeBeouf has already proven his hollywood worth with box-office hits I Robot, Transformers and Indian Jones and hes only 22.

Mr. Under the Radar- Marc Savard vs. James Franco

Noone produces more at an under the radar mentality then Savard. How many of you knew he has averaged 94PTS over 82 games the past 4 seasons? James Franco isn't usually talked about in moviestar conversations, but he should be with the Spiderman series alone.

Mr. Everything - Jarome Iginla vs. Brad Pitt

The guy fights, scores, checks, passes and is captain of his team. Any objections? Brad Pitt goes from playing detective (Se7en) to being a boxer (Snatch) to playing greek mythology (Troy) to being a, possibly gay, workout trainer (Burn After Reading).

Mr. Father Time - Chris Chelios vs. Morgan Freeman

Chelios is still kicking around in Detroit at the ripe old age of 46, and still winning cups (last year to be exact). Morgan Freeman... is this guy seriously in every movie? He's 71 and still found time to make Wanted and The Dark Knight in the SAME YEAR! Oh, by the way, they have grossed a combined $624 Million.

Mr. Class - Vinny Lecavalier vs. Matt Damon

Maybe it's because he's french or maybe it's his charming smile, but this guy knows style. He's always sharply dressed and is always willing to defend his teammates on the ice aswell. Damon is classy because the guy doesn't make a bad business decision: Good Will Hunting, Saving Private Ryan, the Ocean's Eleven series, the Bourne series, The Departed, Rounders... The list just goes on and on.

Mr. Money Bags - Dany Heatley vs. Tom Hanks

Heatley is the NHL's highest paid star this season (10 million bucks); however, he usually earns it with his 40+ goals and 90+ points (even though he's a murderer). Noone has produce more gross revenue (3.622 BILLION) for his movies, in a shorter timespan (only 32 films) then Hanks. Plus, anyone who can play a New York gangster (Road to Perdition) AND pull off a great child's movie (Toy Story, Cars) get a + in my books.

Mr. Muscle - Milan Lucic vs. Vin Diesel

Milan currently leads the NHL in hits and also has a keen nose for the net with his 9 goals. He's on track to be the game's next great power forward. I once heard that Chuck Norris named his biceps 'Toretto' and 'Cage' after Diesel's movie characters...

Mr. Versaltility - Mike Richards vs. Johnny Depp

Richards can play 5-on-5, play the PP, kill penalties, is Phili's top checker and was named their captain at the start of the year. Richards is also on pace to surpass last years 28G and 75PTS. Depp has played some pretty weird roles... Ichabod Crane, George Jung, Captain Jack Sparrow, Willy Wonka, Sweeney Todd and hes cast as the Mad Hatter in the Alice in Wonderland remake.

Mr. Consistency - Joe Thornton vs. Hugo Weaving

With Thornton, you know exactly what your going to get every year... 20+ goals, 70+ assists, 90+ points and no Stanley Cup. Same goes for Weaving, you know when he's in a movie that, it's going to gross over $170-million as 8 of his last 9 Hollywood movies have done so.

Mr. Nice Guy - Nik Lidstrom vs. Robin Williams

Lidstrom is the kind of guy that you just love. It doesn't matter if he is on your team, on your opponents team or on some no-name team, he's just one of those guys that is impossible to hate. Same goes with Williams, he's made huge childish hits that appeal to every audience like: Jumanji, Aladdin, Night at the Museum and Ms. Doubtfire; however, he just seems to be a child at heart. You can't help, but love the guy.

Mr. Immigrant - Daniel Alfredsson vs. Bruce Willis

This category is for all those foreigners who appear to be from the USA. Alfredsson was born is Sweden, but you wouldn't know it by the way his accent has faded (and that jersey he is wearing). Lidstrom was a close 2nd. How many people knew Willis was born in Germany? Not me.

Mr. Obnoxious - Sean Avery vs. Jim Carrey

Both of these people are self explanatory. It should be noted that I HATE Carrey more then Avery.

Mr. Everyone Wants to be You - Sidney Crosby vs. George Clooney

It's all on the billboards, it's on the websites, it's on TV; we all want to be Sid the Kid. And why not, he's dubbed 'The Next One' and has lived up to that billing with a Stanley Cup finals appearance and a Hart trophy already at the tender age of 21. Who doesn't wanna be Clooney?! He's Hollywoods most eligible bachelor and he seems like a stand up guy. Nicole Kidman and Michelle Pfeiffer each bet him 10,000 he would be a Dad by the age of 40. When he reached that age as a bachelor, they sent him a cheque; he returned them, betting double-or-nothing that he would remain childless until 50. How Savvy is that?! Pimp.

Mr. Facial Hair - Mike Commodore vs. Hugh Jackman

Gross on both parts. Neither are good at what they do. That's right, I said it. Wolverine is a homo. Although, The Prestige was a damn good movie, but we'll say that was because of Bale.

Mr. Forgotten - Doug Weight vs. Tommy Lee Jones

Big Dougie has 27PTS in 29 games! It's like a bloody renaissance with this guy! How many teams are kicking themselves for not picking up this guy for 1.750 million? I've gotta say, looking at Jones' resume, he has done some pretty good stuff back in the day: The Fugitive, Batman Forever, Men in Black 1 & 2 and Double Jeopardy; however, he hasn't made anything decent in the past few years.

Mr. Stuck - Jay Bouwmeester vs. Toby MaGuire

This is for someone who is stuck. Bouwmeester is stuck with the Panthers, wasting his talents in the deadpool known as Florida. Trade talks are abound, but he's stuck until someone pulls the trigger. MaGuire is going to be stuck known as Spiderman. He's going to get type-cast. Plus, look at his past movies (Pleasantville, Cider House Rules) they all suck.

Cheers.
-Smith